ShareThisEnvironmental refers to your relationship to the world around you, this includes people, places and things. Some of the topics that I've described relative to your environment include:
active constructive responding
acts of kindness
attunement
authentic connections
building community
finances
go green
hedonic treadmill
ipod vs wepod
immersion
law of the garbage truck
living and working space
neanderthal needs
non-zero sum
other centered
part of the hive
perspective on time
play
social comparison
social emotional leaders
yamas
Knowledge is power! Enjoy learning about how your interaction with you your environment affects you.
Active-constructive responding refers to a communication style that is based on the research of Dr. Shelly Gable. We all know that how comforting it feels to have a friend or close connection to turn to in difficult times, but Gable’s research shows that having people in your life that you can share good news with is even more highly correlated with life satisfaction.
Active-constructive responders help you savor your achievements with enthusiastic support and emphasize the good things happening in your life. Key to flourishing is to both be an active-constructive responder for others, and to have active-constructive responder to share your wins with in your life.
On the other hand, Dr. Gable discovered 3 other communication styles people utilize when someone shares good news with them that can inhibit flourishing. For example, if you get an exciting new job promotion and tell your friend who is:
1) a passive constructive responder- they will casually say “That’s good,” without much energy, making you uncomfortable to share more details of your achievement
2) a passive destructive responder- they will dismiss your enthusiasm over your good news and change the focus of the conversation. “Oh okay so that’s what happened with you at work today. Let me tell you about my day!”
3) a active destructive responder- they tend to quash or belittle your exciting event, and make you feel worse about it. “How are you going to manage all of that extra work?! You’re already too busy as it.”
However, if you share your job promotion with a friend who is an active constructive responder, they’ll celebrate your excitement with you, and ask open ended questions to learn more about your happy news. “That’s wonderful, I know you’ve been working hard! Were you expecting the promotion? What do you think it will be like?”
Active-constructing responding supports the well-being of the person who is having the positive experience. Research shows that having an active-constructive responder in your life to share good news with significantly increases life satisfaction.
Next time someone shares good news with you, know that you can support them in their flourishing by being an active-constructive responder and celebrating with them
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I chose to put finances under the environmental section because it is something outside of you that you interact with and it is strongly affected by your internal conditions. Here we'll look at two topics: Does money buy happiness? and How to create more financial abundance?
I was raised, like many, to believe that money doesn't buy happiness. Interestingly, according to Dr. Dan Gilbert, research shows that money does buy happiness. It just doesn't get you as much happiness as you would think.
A lot more money, only increases a little bit more happiness. Once you make enough money to meet your basic needs, making more doesn't make you all that much happier. Money does, however, significantly increase the happiness of a person who does not have enough to meet their basic needs (food, shelter, water, education, etc).
Yet, money and abundance is something many people want in their lives. I was born in Ukraine and immigrated to the U.S. when I was a young girl. To this day, I thank my parents for their brave move and all the opportunities it has afforded me. In addition to inheriting my parent's boldness and courage, I inherited their scarcity mindset.
Like many, I took on belief systems about money, such as, "Money doesn't grow on trees," "We don't have any money," and "We can't afford that." It bred in me a vigilance to make sure that I had enough, that I would not suffer the financial hardships and sacrifices my parents did.
With that in mind, I began work at the age of 14 as a children's party entertainer. By the time I was 18 I was earning 4-5 times more than my peers were in working half the time.
It took me many years, many books and many powerful mentors, before I discovered that
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Do you ever feel like you’re working really hard to become happier, but you feel like you’re not getting anywhere? Almost like you’re on a treadmill?
“Hedonic treadmill” refers to the human tendency to easily get used to the things that we have and experience. It can be the ultimate hijacker of our happiness and well being. It really can make you feel like you’re running on a treadmill as you keep needing more and more things to make you happy.
The hedonic treadmill has an evolutionary basis; our bodies have evolved to quickly adapt to our present circumstances so we can more adequately conserve and focus our energy.
I put the hedonic treadmill in the environmental category because we can take control of how we interact with the things in our life. If we are aware of our tendency to get used to the things in life we take for granted, we can do something about it.
One of my favorite quotes it “When a person is grateful for the greenness of his or her own lawn, he or she is not going to be looking at the greener grass on the other side of the fence”
Taking the time to express gratitude and savor the people, experiences, and things in our lives help us to gain more positive emotions and prevents us from so easily adapting to our circumstance. Otherwise you’ll feel like you’re on a treadmill, just running in place trying to get more things that don’t actually bring your more happiness.
I want to emphasize that the default setting of the brain is to adapt, and fall on this hedonic treadmill. The process of not getting caught on the treadmill requires taking action and consciously being mindful and choosing how you interact with your experiences.
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Over the past 50 years there has been a languishing of life satisfaction, despite a dramatic increase GDP and other factors like access to education that were once thought to increase well-being. One contributing factor to our decreasing life satisfaction is that our culture has morphed from that of a community oriented “wePod,” to that of an the iPod isolate culture. I often reflect on this on the New York subway, where everyone seems to have on an individual iPod and is plugged only into their own world.
Just 50 years ago, a TV was still a rare commodity; friends and family were your main source of entertainment. People came together much more frequently to dance, play, and create.
Countries that emphasize a strong sense of community, or wePod culture, report higher life-satisfaction that Westernized cultures when GDP is held constant.
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Started by fellow MAPP graduate David Pollay, The Law of the Garbage Truck™ is a theory behind how we interact with people. David came up with this theory while in a New York City taxi- a negligent driver pulled out in front of the cab and almost caused a serious accident. The taxi driver was very calm throughout the whole incident; even when the negligent driver got out of his car spouting profanities and shooting them the finger the taxi driver simply smiled and waved him on.
David commented on the driver’s incredible calm in the face of a stranger’s disrespectful verbal attacks, and wanted to know his secret. The driver explained that people are just like garbage trucks. Some just go around accumulating all kinds of junk; they’re full of anger, full of disappointment, and are just looking for someone to dump is all on. Whenever someone wants to dump their overflowing garbage and frustration on you, don’t take it personally. Understand that they’re carrying a lot, smile, and just move on with your day. And The Law of the Garbage Truck™ was born.
When you’re the recipient of someone’s negative emotions or attack, you can see the emotional garbage they’re trying to dump but you don’t have to let them effect you—you don’t need to be weighted down with their junk. People whose garbage trucks are overflowing are just continually looking for someone to dump it on.
On the other side of the Law, don’t be a garbage truck yourself. Periodically get rid of your own junk that you’re carrying around. Don’t just dump on others and be reactive; work to clean up your own emotional garbage.
Thanks David, for an eye-opening metaphor! To learn more about The Law of the Garbage Truck™, Click here
Your living and working space has a huge influence on how you feel and how productive you are.
According to www.healthydwellings.com (the best resource for creating a sustainable, life supporting environment for yourself), the average person spends about 90% of their time indoors. Your body is a living organism that dynamically interacts with your environment. So if you are breathing in dirty air, living in a cluttered space, have chemical polutants around, these will affect how you feel.
Working with a feng shui expert or a building biologist can greatly enhance the way your space feels, affecting your energy and well-being.
We all have to feed our inner Neanderthal needs- food, shelter, touch, community, etc. However, our primitive brains lead a modern lifestyle of constant light, sound, infinite access, and nonstop stimulation, all of which are counter to our primordial needs. The average urbanite does not get the downtime, rest, darkness, bonding, or sense of nature that their Neanderthal brain requires.
In order to flourish, we want to create balance between living in today's world while still nourishing our natural mind, body, and spirit.
In his book Nonzero, Robert Wright explores how humans throughout history have used the logic behind non-zero sum games to thrive; he argues this natural ability to work collaboratively enabled evolution and societal creation.
In non-zero sum games, everyone can win; benefits don’t come at someone else’s expense. Research shows that this non-zero sum mentality is a critical enabler of flourishing. The schema that life is a non-zero sum game creates upward spirals: it’s easier to create opportunities to work with others when you’re in a positive state, and collectively working with others increases positivity, which in creates more chances for collaboration.
However, many people believe that life is all about zero-sum games: in order for someone to benefit, someone needs to lose. Unfortunately, adopting this mental model can negatively affect your well-being. If you believe that life is a zero-sum game, even when you’re thriving it’s difficult to feel at ease and satisfied. Since someone has to lose for you to win, your success will create feelings of guilt, or you’ll become fearful of those that are jealous of your success and want to take it from you so they can “win” too.
When you believe in non-zero sum games, you create them. To transition from a zero-sum perspective to that of a non-zero sum is simply a shift from a mental model of scarcity to a model of abundance. Remember, “a high tide can raise all boats.”
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Bees, termites, ants, and humans are the only species that create new things that were not there before. This creative element stems from our ability to work in a community with others.
What this tells us is that we’re biologically wired to want to come together with others, to make things happen in the world.
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